Saturday, July 5, 2014

Loss

I knew one day that I'd lose you. In the blink of an eye you'd be gone. I knew it would hurt. But what I never expected was how many times I would lose you, how many times I would break.

Loss is not a one time occurrence, not a single event.


I lose you every time I look at the space where your kennel used to be, your kennel itself.

I lose you every time I lay down on the blanket that you once laid your body upon.

I lose you every time I cover up with my favorite blanket, the only piece of me that was with you on your final day.

I lose you every time I change the sheets on my bed.

I lose you every time I fill up 4 bowls instead of 5.

I lose you every time I see the ugly pink pillow amongst all the other toys.

I lose you every time it's laundry day and there's clean blankets in a basket but no dirty dog to bury herself in and ruin them.

I lose you every time I eat chicken noodle soup.

I lose you every time I see a picture of you.

I lose you every time I look at the shelf where your collar rests on top of that pitiful paper thin box that holds my best friend.

I lose you every time I wake up in the middle of the night and there's no one to cuddle with.

I lose you every time I come home and you aren't there to greet me.

I lose you every time I look up and you aren't there.


I lose you so many times a day. How I can still manage to live after repeatedly having my heart torn from my chest is beyond me. I'd give anything to have you back.