Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Looking Back on 2014

This may get depressing.. Brace yourselves


What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?

I had to put my dog to sleep. Hands down the worst moment of my life.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't have any new year's resolutions and I don't plan to have any for 2015 either.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Nope

Did anyone close to you die?

Yes. My best friend.

What countries did you visit?

None other than the US of course.

What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?

Half a heart.. To be honest, despite losing the biggest part of my life, I made some good changes and I hope I continue building on what I've started.

What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 9th. Obviously because I had to say goodbye to my best friend. 

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Simply continuing my life when I wanted to die. 

What was your biggest failure?

I was very hard on myself this year.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Other than battling my mental illnesses, no.

What was the best thing you bought?

Probably my mom's birthday gifts. Really any gifts that I've gotten people this year.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mom's. She's an amazing woman

Whose behavior made you appalled?

I don't think I'll name names!

Where did most of your money go?

I have yet to purchase it yet, but a new laptop so I can go back to High School. If I don't buy that by the end of the year then I would say most of it went to movies and books?

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I was really excited to go to the Pet Expo in Denver. It was absolutely fantastic and I hope I get to go again next year.

What song will always remind you of 2014?

Don't by Ed Sheeran

Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

I am sadder, probably the same, poorer

What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had (again) spent more time outside and spent more time exercising.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I wish I had cried a lot less

How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas eve was spent with my grandma, sister and my parents at our house. We had some good food and opened a few presents. Then on Christmas day we opened a couple more presents in the morning and just relaxed. On Saturday I went to my aunt and uncles to spend time with my mom's side of the family.

Did you fall in love in 2014?

Slowly started to fall in love with myself.

What was your favorite TV program?

Supernatural

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No. Hate is a strong word and I really don't feel like I 'hate' anyone.

What was the best book you read?

The Divergent trilogy by Veronica Roth or Doctor Sleep by Stephen King

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Probably the 90's alternative station on Pandora.

What did you want and get?

I finally got my service dog application sent in!

What did you want and not get?

I wanted my best friend back. I always will

What was your favorite film of this year?

Gone Girl! That movie is so full of twists and turns!!

What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Receiving dead things for Christmas? I don't know. It was honestly a pretty shitty year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2014?

Grab something out of the closet and put it on. 

What kept you sane?

My family. Netflix didn't hurt either

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I can't say I really fancied anyone really 

What political issue stirred you the most?

Probably all the protests regarding police brutality? Does that count? When the verdict was given on the Michael Brown case I began watching live streams. Things got really intense in Ferguson

Who did you miss?

My dog, Spencer, and Michael.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
Life goes on.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Things were all good yesterday, then the devil took your breath away. now we're left here in the pain..


Here are some of my favorite pictures from this year! :)






Saturday, July 5, 2014

Loss

I knew one day that I'd lose you. In the blink of an eye you'd be gone. I knew it would hurt. But what I never expected was how many times I would lose you, how many times I would break.

Loss is not a one time occurrence, not a single event.


I lose you every time I look at the space where your kennel used to be, your kennel itself.

I lose you every time I lay down on the blanket that you once laid your body upon.

I lose you every time I cover up with my favorite blanket, the only piece of me that was with you on your final day.

I lose you every time I change the sheets on my bed.

I lose you every time I fill up 4 bowls instead of 5.

I lose you every time I see the ugly pink pillow amongst all the other toys.

I lose you every time it's laundry day and there's clean blankets in a basket but no dirty dog to bury herself in and ruin them.

I lose you every time I eat chicken noodle soup.

I lose you every time I see a picture of you.

I lose you every time I look at the shelf where your collar rests on top of that pitiful paper thin box that holds my best friend.

I lose you every time I wake up in the middle of the night and there's no one to cuddle with.

I lose you every time I come home and you aren't there to greet me.

I lose you every time I look up and you aren't there.


I lose you so many times a day. How I can still manage to live after repeatedly having my heart torn from my chest is beyond me. I'd give anything to have you back.