I'm sitting here staring at the medication on the floor, debating whether or not I should bother taking it. She's leaving and I know it won't matter if I take it or not when she's gone. I'm going to be depressed. That's just that. Things are simply losing all meaning to me again.
until all hell breaks loose in my mind again. I've seen bits and pieces of what's to come and it's not pretty. I feel there's nothing I can do but give into the sadness. In so many ways it's comforting. It's constant. Far to easy to give in and not fight what you feel. I feel sick just waiting for it to happen. I've given up before I've even tried. Perhaps because I've learned that it doesn't go away and it doesn't get easier.