Monday, October 3, 2011

Maybe...

A big problem I always seem to have to not knowing how I feel. My opinion of myself and the world or my situation changes everyday. I'm not sure what I should do to help myself when I don't know how I truly feel. Maybe I need medication. Maybe I need a therapist. The medication... easy enough to get, but what drug is right?  I realize that finding the right one wont happen overnight but I honestly don't want to go hrough 100 different anti-depressants to finally find the right one. Now the therapist... Where do I find a good one that can really help me around here? Someone that really understands my situation. My last one didn't do much for me. I don't feel like I can find one that can really help me around my area. But when your family doesn't have all the money in the world how do you accomplish that? How can you afford to go to a place hours away once a week or once every two weeks? How can you afford to move? How do you get better when you're backed into a corner with no way out?

Maybe no amount of medication and therapy will help. Maybe it's all up to me. Maybe I'm just tired? I don't know. I wish I had a little direction...

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